So I felt the need to write tonight, although I have no idea what I'm going to say. Today is another day where words elude me, so why am I dedicating a post to words I can't articulate? Because it's important to see the struggles along with the triumphs. And since many of the people who read this are my support team and prayer warriors-I'm calling in the troops on this one. I need some prayer.
This week has been hard for me. I don't want to say it's "culture shock" because it's not. I still absolutely love being in Romania and believe whole-heartedly that this is where God wants me this year. Each day I feel blessed simply to have the opportunity to walk out of my door and into such a beautiful place. But somehow, I still feel defeated and weak. I still feel like I'm battling something greater than myself, bigger than I have ever dealt with. And the feeling of defeat has left me confused. I know that not every day can be filled with happiness. With gum drops and lolipops, rainbows and balloons. I know that sometimes a few days of solitude is just what God has prescribed and ends up building you up and growing you more. I know I will survive it and God will probably teach me something I hadn't known before. I know that because of what we are doing here, I am dealing with spiritual warfare. I know that I'm not just feeling like I'm in a battle, I am in one. But knowing all of these things doesn't make it any easier for the time being and right now I wish I knew exactly how to come out of it.
But I don't. You know why? God is the ultimate planner and he's got the schedule out of view from my prying eyes at this moment. He knows what he is doing and just because I can't look at a calendar and say "well, at least it will all be over in 4 days" doesn't mean that there is no guidance, no plan, no future. It's times like these that one of my favorite verses plays over and over in my head. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Those are powerful words.
So I can go on, I can get up in the morning and know that even when it's hard God's guiding hand is there. I can pick myself up off the ground each time I feel knocked over and forgive the knockee, maybe even thanking them for the lesson learned. I can rejoice in the fact that God is teaching me something new and unprecedented. I can be joyful, even when I don't feel happy.
God is here. And I will praise him in the storm.
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Mel
A little bit about me...
- Melanie
- I am: Living life one day at a time. A nursing student in college. In love with God. Missing life in Romania. Blessed with an amazing family. [And almost equally amazing friends.]
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"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Jeremiah 29:11
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
Isaiah 40:28-31
Why Romania?
A little over a year ago, I remember Karen telling me to go to the missions conference. I could see she was excited, but what she didn't know was that I already knew her secret. She and Maurice would be moving to Romania for an entire year! I was excited for them, but I could not get to the conference.
So, they announced to the church that this was what they felt God was leading them to do. That was when the voices in my head started. No, just kidding. But really, that was when I began to wonder (for no reason) if they were thinking about bringing anyone with them. I thought to myself, "Wow, what an opportunity for whoever they ask." At this point, no one had said a word about bringing along another person.
Around the same time of the announcement, my family sat down for dinner one night and began talking about travelling. We talked about my previous trip to Europe and how much I loved it. We talked about my brother wanting to go to Europe eventually. That is when Aaron said, "Mel, if you ever get the chance to live overseas, take it."
Well it wasn't until a week later when Karen found me at youth group and told me that she and Maurice were looking to bring someone over with them, that everything seemed to connect. I remember her saying that they had been praying about it and that they felt that it was me who should go with them. I couldn't believe it. It was as though God was putting a puzzle together in me and the pieces were falling into place, the picture becoming clearer. And to think, I hadn't even BEEN to Romania yet!!
After weeks of prayer and preparation, we went to visit Romania in September of 2006. I was ecstatic to be there and felt even more confident that this truly was what God had in store for me over the next year. The experience in September literally changed my life, as God began to reveal to me how selfishly I have been living. After experiencing a bit of "culture shock" (once I was back in the United States), I began to try and change the way I live and be a servant to those around me. I am no where near perfect at this lifestyle and I know I never will be, but I know that the longing to live simpler and be a part of a greater thing in Romania has grown since the day I returned to the United States last year. There are no words to express just how grateful I am that God has given me this opportunity and how excited I am to embark on this wonderful adventure.
So, they announced to the church that this was what they felt God was leading them to do. That was when the voices in my head started. No, just kidding. But really, that was when I began to wonder (for no reason) if they were thinking about bringing anyone with them. I thought to myself, "Wow, what an opportunity for whoever they ask." At this point, no one had said a word about bringing along another person.
Around the same time of the announcement, my family sat down for dinner one night and began talking about travelling. We talked about my previous trip to Europe and how much I loved it. We talked about my brother wanting to go to Europe eventually. That is when Aaron said, "Mel, if you ever get the chance to live overseas, take it."
Well it wasn't until a week later when Karen found me at youth group and told me that she and Maurice were looking to bring someone over with them, that everything seemed to connect. I remember her saying that they had been praying about it and that they felt that it was me who should go with them. I couldn't believe it. It was as though God was putting a puzzle together in me and the pieces were falling into place, the picture becoming clearer. And to think, I hadn't even BEEN to Romania yet!!
After weeks of prayer and preparation, we went to visit Romania in September of 2006. I was ecstatic to be there and felt even more confident that this truly was what God had in store for me over the next year. The experience in September literally changed my life, as God began to reveal to me how selfishly I have been living. After experiencing a bit of "culture shock" (once I was back in the United States), I began to try and change the way I live and be a servant to those around me. I am no where near perfect at this lifestyle and I know I never will be, but I know that the longing to live simpler and be a part of a greater thing in Romania has grown since the day I returned to the United States last year. There are no words to express just how grateful I am that God has given me this opportunity and how excited I am to embark on this wonderful adventure.
Ways to reach me...
Address:
C.P. 68 Judetul Mures, Sighisoara 545400, Romania
Email:
startnline89@yahoo.com
roorda_melanie@pearcechurch.org
Phone:
(585) 594-9533
If you are calling from out of the given area code, no worries! Call and then I will call you right back so that you aren't stuck with an unnecessary charge. You won't pay anything!
*Please remember the time difference is 7 hours ahead.
Skype:
My Skype name is melnromania.
It's a free downloadable program and then we can talk from computer to computer. Just give me a time!
Plus, it's important to have a headset. If you have a webcam we can do a video session!
Comment on a blog entry! I'll comment back. =]
C.P. 68 Judetul Mures, Sighisoara 545400, Romania
Email:
startnline89@yahoo.com
roorda_melanie@pearcechurch.org
Phone:
(585) 594-9533
If you are calling from out of the given area code, no worries! Call and then I will call you right back so that you aren't stuck with an unnecessary charge. You won't pay anything!
*Please remember the time difference is 7 hours ahead.
Skype:
My Skype name is melnromania.
It's a free downloadable program and then we can talk from computer to computer. Just give me a time!
Plus, it's important to have a headset. If you have a webcam we can do a video session!
Comment on a blog entry! I'll comment back. =]
Packages are expensive, I don't recommend it. Here's my list, if you insist. =]
- A good paperback book
- Any good music
- Apple Cider mix
- Hot chocolate mix
- Marshmellows
- Lucky Charms
- Life cereal
- Chocolate Chips
- Brown Sugar
5 comments:
It's hard, but don't despair. The tough stuff is always temporary. I am always praying for you, and you can call me any time you want to talk, day or night.
Love you lots!
Praying for you extra hard this week :)
Mel,
I am so proud of you, and lifting you before our God, who is faithful!
love always, darling.
Mom
O Melanie! You don't realize what an inspiration you are with your writings!!Bless you, dear Mel; I'm an old lady and am blown away by your maturity and faith! May God love and carry you through!"Faithful is He who called you,He will do it" 1.Thess.5:24
I'm praying for you! Love, Inge Redfield
Dear Melanie, If you experiance doughts and struggles then you are in the company of all the massive peoples of God as told in his word for our guidance.I think you are special and I'm sure that God is holding you close.That is awesome security.Love you always, Uncle Daryl.
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